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How old were you on your last from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
How old were you on your last birthday? Eight. And how old will you be on your next birthday? Ten. Oh, I don't think that's possible. Oh, yes it is - I'm nine today.

Something happened to me yesterday that will from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
Something happened to me yesterday that will never, ever, happen to me again. How can you be so sure? I was 10 years old yesterday.

Sams girlfriends birthday was the same day from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
Sam's girlfriend's birthday was the same day as his father's. He bought his girlfriend a bottle of perfume and his father a pistol. He wrapped the perfume and wrote a note to his girlfriend, saying, 'Use this all over yourself and think of me.' Unfortunately he put the note on his father's present.

When is your birthday th January What from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
When is your birthday? 17th January. What year? Every year!

What did you get for your birthday from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
What did you get for your birthday? Another year!

A kindly old lady came across a from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
A kindly old lady came across a little boy sitting on the pavement crying his eyes out. 'What's the matter?' she asked. 'It's my birthday!' he hollered. 'And I had a bicycle and a new tracksuit and this afternoon there's to be a party with crisps and jelly and a birthday cake and a disco afterwards. . .' and he had to stop talking because he was crying so hard. 'But that's lovely,' said the old lady. 'Why are you crying?' 'Because I'm lost!'

Id like to say something nice about from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday. Why don't you? Because I can't think of a single thing to say!

Fred I was going to buy you from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Harry: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you? Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose.

Fred Have you noticed that your mother from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
Fred: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days? Harry: No. Why? Fred: Well, your sister told me she was giving her a bottle of toilet water for her birthday.

The housewife answered a knock on the from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. "Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread." "That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."

Good news Ive been given a goldfish from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday . . .the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!

First boy Are you having a party from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
First boy: Are you having a party for your birthday? Second boy: No, I'm having a witch do. First boy: What's a witch do? Second boy: She flies around on a broomstick casting spells.

Johnny was racing around the garden on from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
Johnny was racing around the garden on his new bicycle and called out to his mother to watch his tricks. 'Look, Mum! No hands! Look, Mum! No feet! Waaah! Look, Mum! No teeth!'

Home A Age JokesThats an excellent essay from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
Home - A - Age Jokes "That's an excellent essay for someone your age," said the English teacher. "How about for someone my Mum's age, Miss?" "Welcome to school, Simon," said the nursery school teacher to the new boy. "How old are you?" "I'm not old," said Simon. "I'm nearly new." Miss Jones agreed to be interviewed by Fred for the school magazine. "How old are you, ma'am?" asked Fred. "I'm not going to tell you that," she replied. "But Mr Hill the technical teacher and Mr Hill the geography teacher told me how old they were." "Oh well," said Miss Jones. "I'm the same age as both of them." The poor teacher was not happy when she saw what Fred wrote: Miss Jones, our English teacher, confided in me that she was as old as the Hills. "Now remember, boys and girls," said the science teacher, "you can tell a tree's age by counting the rings in a cross section. One ring for each year." Fred went home for tea and found a chocolate roll on the table. "I'm not eating that, Mum!" she said. "It's five years old." Grandma: You've left all your crusts, Fred. When I was your age I ate every one. Fred: Do you still like crusts, Grandma? Grandma: Yes, I do. Fred: Well, you can have mine. How old is your wife? Approaching forty. From which direction? An eminent old man was being interviewed, and was asked if it was correct that he had just celebrated his ninety-ninth birthday. `That's right,' said the old man. `Ninety-nine years old, and I haven't an enemy in the world. They're all dead.' `Well, sir,' said the interviewer, `I hope very much to have the honour of interviewing you on your hundredth birthday.' The old man looked at the young man closely, and said, `I can't see why you shouldn't. You look fit and healthy to me!'

A couple have not been getting along from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"

A man asked his wife What would from Flashcomment Birthday jokes Jokes
A man asked his wife, "What would you most like for your birthday?" She said, "I'd love to be ten again." On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and they went to a theme park. He put her on every ride in the park - the Death Slide, The Screaming Loop, the Wall of Fear. She had a go on every ride there was. She staggered out of the theme park five hours later, her head reeling and her stomach turning. Then off to a movie theater, popcorn, cola and sweets. At last she staggered home with her husband and collapsed into bed. Her husband leaned over and asked, "Well, dear, what was it like being ten again?" One eye opened and she groaned, "Actually, honey, I meant dress size!"